Cam time!

I was on a chat site today, on cam for the first time. You wouldn't think it of something so simple, but what an experience! I was very overwhelmed, I received a lot of responses, and praise, and I couldn't have a sensible conversation with any because I couldn't keep up with the hello's. It was eye opening at the least. One friendly chatter said hello in such a lovely way. Something like "You look beautiful, welcome to the world." and it almost made me cry on cam. Bitch! lol.

I do have to ask though.... some of the guys.... just... wtf?

I'm going down the list of hello's..

"Beautiful hon! love the hair!."

"looking good today sweetie!."

"slut needs cum up her ass."

Wait.. what? How.. what? I mean, does that work on anyone? Who are these women that read that and go "God, he just so GETS me!"

Or are these men so oblivious to their actions they keep going from girl to girl, never getting a response and ending their night pissed off, calling us all bitches? I mean I gave a reasonable shake at being a man, and I NEVER would have tried that to get someone's attention. Perhaps that's where I failed? lol

The other thing to consider is, where do you go from there? The climax is already here an gone, apparently. Maybe my response should be *lights a smoke*

Maybe, you know, these guys just have sex on the brain (I know I know... work with me here) as in they haven't cum in like a month or something and they know that really deep down they aren't thinking straight so they start at the end. Maybe what my smoking response would get would be "oh god thanks! So how are you dear?"

Anyway, some people are nuts I suppose.

Overall though, what a wonderful experience. Many good reactions, some almost overly good. I haven't been able to interact with many people because my voice is one of my strongest dysphoria triggers. Therefore, also one of my biggest blockers to going full-time. So getting to see all these people, letting them see me and being able to "talk" was... exhilarating.

Tonight when I'm going to bed I'm almost positive I'm going to bawl. I've never gotten attention like that before, ever, and it's something I've been secretly craving for most of my life. I don't know how to explain it to both sides of the blurry gender line. Women love attention, and I don't mean in a shallow way. I mean it's "how it works" in a sense, women "look" attractive to attract attention. Men give the attention, they take the initiative. So living as a man most of my life I was "expected" to give the attention, and didn't want to. I wasn't able to get attention, and I wanted it.

Today was the exact opposite of that.