Choosing Choice

Spending time with other people from the LGBT community last week has taught me a lot. The most important lesson I received is that even though I'm trans myself there is an awful lot about the community that I am as unaware it's even an issue as I am uninformed about it. There is actually so much, and I feel so unable to speak of them from lack of knowledge that I am not going to.

There was one conversation that I had over the week that flicked the light switch on, so to speak.

This is why, by the way, I need to be involved with the community more. This was one conversation, that really boils down to one sentence, that...well you'll see.

The trans-person I was talking to was telling me about a meeting she and others had with health care professionals. They were asked the inevitable question, "So this isn't a choice right?" The answer that was given is what I have been thinking about since. The person I was talking to answered back, "Well it can be, and that's ok too."

I can almost picture their faces.

This is something I absolutely believe, but honestly I'm not sure it's so intrinsic in me that I would have given the same answer. The person telling us this story told it almost as a joke more then the seriousness behind that statement, intentionally or not I'm not sure (we were at a bar), or maybe I didn't realize her seriousness through the laughter. This one statement though is it, this is all we, or anyone in the LGBT community needs people to understand.

It begs to strain on the reasoning, "Why can't it be a choice?" Imagine how freeing it would be if our society accepted people choosing to transition, or choosing being homosexual. As it stands, it seems a completely alien idea for a straight man to choose to be gay, or a cis woman choosing to transition to male. Why the hell would they do that?

Why the hell do you need to know?

For a society that wants 500 choices of doughnut I find it incredible that the majority can't allow people to choose anything, ANYTHING, they want. Instead, you can have your coffee in 37 different flavours but when it comes to sex  and gender, you can check two of four boxes and they better match up with what everyone else thinks you should check.

A world where there are no genders, or all genders. Where having sex with another human being, male or female, or both is just the beautiful connection it is, and not some perverted "fantasy". Sounds impossible right? Well here's a list:

India
Pakistan
Nepal
Australia
New Zealand
Thailand
Oman
Polynesia
Indonesia
The Philippines
Kenya

These countries either have a special place for a third gender in their society, or have actual laws protecting their right to choose a third gender. Options on passports, census etc. and there are more countries I haven't listed.

For all of our technical, economical, and educational advances here in western society when it comes to individual freedom and expression we are very seriously lacking.

However the second our culture and media earnestly grasps on to freedom of expression our worlds in the LGBT community would change. When it becomes socially acceptable to make it a choice to be gay, or trans, or whatever, then where will the problems come from for those of us who it really isn't a choice for?

The "I have no choice" argument was a reasonable one when it started. It was pretty much the only way to get the masses off our backs, convince them it's akin to an illness and this is your treatment. It is true for many of us, I for one. I had a minor choice, transition or stay miserable. Waving this around though like our flag is hurting us in the long run. We don't need to squeeze out a little sympathy from society, we need to beat it over the head until it remembers we are supposed to believe in personal freedom for everyone.

I was going to stop there but I wanted to add a bit of an hypothesis, for lack of better words.

Even for me, with my saying I had no choice but to transition, I still had a choice. I could have gone on my life like I have the last 30 years. Now that choice would be suicidal depression, but it was a "choice" in the strictest sense. What I have chosen is happiness, and being true to myself. Something all of you out there wish you had the courage to do. I think when people see the public version of us trans they only see the happy side and have that ignorant idea of "you're so happy, you didn't need this." To re-use a simile, it's like months after you end a bad relationship and you are happy, it's hard to see the sadness that made you leave.

People who don't understand see someone like me and I think it hits them right in the jealousy. Freedom of expression isn't just our fight, it's everyone's fight. I, and many like me, are grabbing that right and telling everyone to go to hell with their judgments. It HAS to be intimidating. The majority of society all have their own personal expression they wish society would be ok with but they are choosing to conform. They look at us and see how confident many of us eventually end up being and their jealously/envy gets the better of them. They have to try and take away from us the one thing they want themselves.

Stop fighting us and join us. Personal freedom; freedom of sexuality, freedom of opinion, freedom of choice, freedom of gender, freedom of voice... freedom of thought. These are HUMAN rights and up to all of us to make sure they are rights held by ALL of us.