My Life As A F1 Racer

I arrive at the track at some point in the day. It's different then the others I have been to before, different twists and turns.

As usual everyone has started without me. I don't know how this happens, I always think I know when the start time is but when I arrive I find everyone at the track is already racing around it.

I see where the start line is and walk toward it to see if I can find someone who can point me in the right direction. I'm not sure where my car is or, now that I think about it, I'm not really sure which one is mine.

When I get to the starting line there is noone there. I notice the racers are coming around for a lap so I turn to watch, hoping maybe I can catch a glimpse of someone I know from another track. Maybe get an idea of if this is a suitable track for me. Who knows, maybe someone will notice my confusion and I can catch them trying to point me somewhere.

They get closer and I realize they are so close together, so fast, so many there is no way I'm going to get a good look. I try anyway. The first few leaders blow by me like I'm not there and then the group that has the majority is next. As I watch them I can tell who is where they are because of luck, or skill, or perseverance, a host of reasons but all of them are scrambling to some goal.

I'm not sure what that goal is but I guess I'll learn that when I get in the race.

I don't see a single person I recognize from before. I look around as the last few cars go by, still no one here but the drivers. Well if I can only talk to the drivers, then I need to find a better place then this, here no one will notice me.

So I walk down the track, looking for a better spot. As I'm walking I try to get an idea of what the track is like, though I can see little of it from here. It doesn't take long before I stop doing that. It's really just a comfort thing, I've done this so many times now to know I can't see enough to actually be prepared.

I still haven't found a good place yet as I hear the F1's approaching me. They are so fast that the first few are gone by before I turn around. The track isn't quite as wide here so I see almost everyone in single file. They sure are going fast though.

Wait. Is that? I think I see a driver that may be my partner! They are wearing the same jacket..

They are! She, or he is giving me a thumbs up! Oh that's great, most of these tracks don't have partners, I find. When there is one though it's usually a lot of fun, a little easier to get around the course. At least that's what I hear, I still haven't gotten on the track yet. But it gives me something to look forward to!

I see ahead of me there is a complicated turn that's slowing the drivers down. Maybe I can wait there and get a few words to or from my partner. Wow am I ever excited! I run all the way to the turn. I'm glad there's no one here now, they'd just be in my way!

I arrive nervous and, excited. I turn and see everyone on their way, speeding toward me but about to be forced to slow down, so I wait. Then I realize..

What do I say? I quickly think, do I ask where my car is, how do I get on the track? And what about them? How is the race going, how long have they been here?

Suddenly I realize I was thinking too long and my partner is almost by me. I don't know what to say so I just yell out the only thing I'm really feeling.

"I'm so glad I found you!"

I wonder if they heard me? I run along side to try and keep up as best as I can to see if I can get a response but it's pointless. Either I wasn't heard or the turn was a little tricky but I didn't see a reaction to make me think I was heard.

Ok, there has to be a better spot somewhere. So I keep walking along the track, hoping I'll find a spot to say and hear a few words. I walk the track for a while and I hear everyone coming again. I turn around and watch everyone go by, there's little point trying to talk to someone here so I just watch. I see my partner coming and I smile, and slowly raise my thumb. I hope they seen. If there was someone around besides the drivers I'd have someone to talk to at least.

I keep moving along the track in hopes of that perfect spot. I stop often at places I think I can try to talk to someone but it's never a good time. Either the drivers need to concentrate and can't listen or it's not difficult and the drivers can just zoom on by like I'm not even there.

I get it, it is a race after all. It would be nice if I could join though. I don't even want to win at this point I just want to see what it's like to drive a F1.

Or drive along side my partner, wow that would be amazing!

Speaking of which, they are coming around again.

I smile and wave... but no wave back? Why not? This is a fast part of the track but not hard, I could have gotten a wave. In fact didn't I get one here before?

Then I realize I've walked the entire track... how many times now? My partner has gone by endless times to see me doing what? Walking? They must know I'm trying to find out how to get started.

Though, everyone else knows how, why don't I? That's probably what my partner is thinking too. That's what the last one thought. A few race tracks ago.

I keep trying to find a good place to try and get someone's attention, anyone. Just so I can get into the race, my partner keeps passing me and I can see them getting more and more upset with me. The other drivers are getting tired of my being being there too.

And where the hell is everyone?

I'm starting to get tired now, I've been walking around this race track longer then I can remember. I still haven't gotten to say anything sensible to anyone, let alone my partner. I called out several "I'm sorry!" as they powered by but I have no way of knowing if I was heard.

I sit at one spot and wait. I'm too tired to keep walking, I'm too tired of trying to come up with different ways to handle the same problem.

It's starting to get painful to watch the other racers go by. I know all their faces now, but I don't know any of the people. I want to be in there with them but I'm not. Seeing my partner is painful to the point of numbing. I get reminded of how much I wish I was there with them because I know how much it's hurting them that I'm not.

I'm pretty sure I seen my partner and another driver who entered the race by themselves tag team passing other cars and drafting each other.

I get it, it's about the race. I just wish I could be the one in there helping.

I lift my head up and look around to see if maybe anyone else showed up but of course not. Everyone is racing in this race, if not they are racing in another one. I'm the only one out here. I'm always the only one out here.

Should I look for another track? Again? I've seen so many, they all look different but they are essentially all the same. I keep trying new ones to see if it will be better then the last.... and that's never the case in the long run. A race is a race.

My partner drives by again and I just watch. They may know I'm here, they may not, I'm getting nothing to tell. I watch as they go by, no one driver paying me any more or less attention then the last, partner included. It seems it doesn't matter at all if I stay or leave no one would know the difference. I've always left for another track, never know how opportunity will present its self, maybe.

Maybe this time I'll stay. I wonder what happens?

Maybe this time I'll stay until everyone goes home and I'll turn out the lights.

Do something helpful at least.